Kavod

I grew up in a big family under an L-shaped home. My parents owned a dairy business, which I'm extremely allergic to. Not the business, but the milk, cheese and all the tremendously delicious stuff that sometimes I still eat at the risk of getting sick.

I was also raised with Christian beliefs. These beliefs, I feel, kept me safe as a child; but as I grew older these same convictions, also made me feel sheltered, and even hindered me spiritually. Perhaps because what I saw, what I learned, what I was told to follow, was very limiting not only spiritually but also intellectually. Sadly, it wasn't what it was supposed to mean, which is freedom... a sense of freedom and joy that many years later, I discovered on my own; the same way I discovered that I was very allergic to dairy when I became a vegan five years ago.

I have experienced different types of loves during the past 5 years of my life. I experienced the best romance ever, a glimpse of Kavod. All the other loves taught me something but this one really shook me to the core. The same love also turned sour, because it was missing something, it wasn't meant to be anymore, as we grew one or the other didn't belong anymore. Therefore, I also had a taste of loss and heartache. It was meant to happen, all of it. It was just as meant to happen as the day I was born, and the day I decided to take control of my life right before I turned 29. It was meant to happen as the person he is now engaged to be married to.

I believe we are in control of our destiny, but if something is not flowing right, if you're not ready for it then these experiences are simply glimpses of Kavod that merely happen to teach us about ourselves, about the things, or the thing that keeps us together. I think deep inside, I always knew it was missing something, or my immaturity wouldn't let me see that in order to be satisfied in a relationship, I needed to really understand what I wanted, and ultimately understand myself. And realize that I needed love that doesn't only scratch the surface, but that goes way deep beyond. A love that transcends, that flows and grows all at the same time. A love shared with one who felt the same.

Yoga brought me back to the most present love, the magnetism that keeps this world together, the gravity that keeps us grounded, the chance that created the universe and us from particles of star dust, the miracle that helped us evolve as human beings, the dopamine in our brains, the biological connection between a Mother and her child, water, sleep, the air I breath. This beautiful energy I like to call God. It works for me. It doesn't work for everyone, but just as everyone has their own beliefs, mine are right now. In the air I breath, right this moment, and the moments where I experience something powerful, like glue in the friendships I truly cherish. I am the luckiest girl alive and I appreciate the good and the bad and for what's to come.

The Kavod of this universe brought me to a place where life makes more sense in all corners of my life. I enjoy my job and I am living very comfortably. I can still be creative and share my artistic ideas with like minded individuals. I feel revived and all these beautiful teachings taken from different beliefs, truths and ideas are my new religion.

A beautiful spectrum of life.