Hello Goodbye

This is a letter to the past. It can be assumed to be a memoir, and also a memorial. This moment will pass and it will simply be a recognition of a trail of good memories, forgiving and hoping to be forgiven, and self-forgiving. In the past year and a half, my life has changed tremendously. I think it took an amount of courage, as well as finding the right spark. The one that I really needed all this time while searching for love the wrong way, and dare I say, wrong places. This is a letter to all the men that I have loved. The men that I have shared my soul and heart with. You know who you are. If you find yourself stumbling upon this letter, I hope you can understand that I never genuinely intended to hurt you, and I know deep in my heart, that you did love me. In your own way, which wasn't the wrong way, but it wasn't the right way either, some of you left me after all. Please know that I'm not making you responsible for not being able to fulfill the void, because the truth of the matter is... I don't have memories of sitting on my father's lap, or I regret to say but I have no memories of him teaching me anything. My memories of how I perceived him aren't pretty. It wasn't your job to fulfill a role in my life that I can't recollect ever being there. I am sorry if I pushed you to be a reflection of a figure that actually didn't have a positive impact in my life growing up. Nevertheless, I am eternally grateful that I met you all. You indeed had an important role in my life. Perhaps one that I often took for granted, and for this I am sorry. I thank you for the flowers, for making me feel beautiful and desirable. I thank you for teaching me things. I earned an education of life with each and one of you. I learned to develop a good taste in culture. I learned about bands, and music that I now fully enjoy, and inspire me daily. I learned to appreciate french food. I learned to appreciate vegetables and a healthy lifestyle. I learned about the healing power of raw food. I learned about what is life to have loving parents with money. I learned about how lucky and unlucky some of you were. I learned how to drive a stick. I learned about economics. I learned about whiskey, fine tequila and how to make a killer margarita! I learned about gin. I learned about wine. I learned about south america and I learned how to shoot a gun. I appreciate all these gifts you gave me. They have all made me pretty cool :) At least, I feel that way. It is necessary that I say this here and not directly to you. I'm not sure if at this point in our lives, it would be appropriate to talk about our past when you have all clearly moved on. Some of you have wives, serious girlfriends or fiances. Some of these partners don't need your past to resurface, specially one that you once really loved. I hope that if one of them reads this, they can understand that I never meant harm to you or them, and if at some point I did, out of spite and defense mechanism I repent and renounce. If they can forgive any remark I made about you or them, that will also be appreciated, otherwise, I hope that this can at least provide healing and a clean slate. For right now and moving forward. Best wishes and sweet goodbyes. -W